40 Days of Friendship – Day 12: Beer, boys, dogs and drama

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1. Did you talk to SAO today?

Oh yes. Too much, even. Texted a bit while she was at work. 

(Technically we were still talking before going to sleep the previous night at the early hours of the morning and I was still discussing my odd skin condition with Cal…I had random clear bubbles on only my left forearm.Very strange, but Cal said it was probably my immune system.)

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Promptly the next morning I was determined to be the first to text, unlike on Cal’s actual birthday.

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I then went on to tell him how much my ex-boyfriend Grey hated horses because he said their eyes are too dark and that they’re creepy…

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1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EpRQjGjEHk – Lego version

2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6BJy8i_kwpI – extended non-Lego, sexy real life Eddie Izzard version

Here’s an article I wrote about transgender, transvestites, metrosexuality and Eddie Izzard: http://www.someonelikeme.com/en-global/blog/transgender/

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(I was late…and joking about the cocaine. We don’t do that…)

I had my birthday party. SAO joined along with eleven of my other friends. She brought me a beautiful work of art – a canvas that she decoupaged.

2. Anything interesting happen? 

Yes, we had some drinks on my roof, then went out to my favourite bar in the city, had some delicious drinks there, did a group dinner at an Italian restaurant then bar hopping until the bars closed. During this time SAO had to deflect one of my friends hitting on her, but ended up making out with a bouncer and, I did not see this, but apparently she chased a dog down the street. Meanwhile I did not have any encounters with ladies (as I am currently interested in only one) but I did banter quite a bit with strangers and by chance ran into an ex-girlfriend of mine and her new, oddly young boyfriend.

She and another friend stayed at my apartment that night because everyone was too drunk to safely get home – so I shared a bed with SAO. To keep it platonic and mostly for my comfort I constructed a large pillow barrier between us. It worked like a charm.

3. Learn anything new about SAO?

I learned that she has a knack for stirring up drama with some of my male friends. Or maybe just stirring up drama in general. And that she snores when she’s drunk.

4. Learn anything new about yourself?

I learned that I need to make more excuses to get all my friends out to dinner and drinks more often! It was fun!

5. Additional comments

This is the first year where I’ve had friends that couldn’t come to my birthday party because they had to take care of their baby at home – I am officially old.


Did you talk to Cal today?

Yes. We texted whilst I was at work and then I spent the entire night with him for his birthday party.

2. Anything interesting happen? 

A lot of interesting things happened. The first of which was probably having to explain to Cal who Eddie Izzard is. I mean, hello? How do you not know who Eddie Izzard is. The man is a legend and honestly my favourite person in the world.

There is a bit of a backstory to my relationship with two of Cal’s friends…we shall call them Dumb and Dumber. Just kidding, although I just made myself laugh with that. I literally just googled dumbest dog breeds ever to come up with their names… http://udderlypettable.com/these-15-dogs-breeds-are-the-dumbest-around So I will call one of them Bully for Bulldog (apparently an idiot breed of dog…which I believe) and Bor for Borzoi. To properly explain this we have to go back to Valentines Day, when I was hanging out with Cal and Bully and Bor showed up. Bully started hitting on me immediately, knowing that Bor like me (we had met before). Long story short, Bully kissed me in front of Bor and then once him and I were alone he broke down and confessed to being in love with some girl in Manchester so I was like, ‘Hakuna matata, but why the hell have you been cock-blocking me all night?’ Because he had, and not only with Bor. I had been speaking with a very attractive guy whom I had forged a bond with over a love of Childish Gambino and Bully came right up and situated himself in the middle of us (literally), whilst wearing my bright pink scarf.  Needless to say Gambino guy was put off and despite giving him my number he never called, probably since Bully stuck his tongue down my throat moments after we said goodbye to Gambino. 

After the drama with Bully was over, Bor told me that he liked me and he ended up coming back to mine. It was Valentines Day, as I mentioned, and I was in a very ‘yolo’ kind of mood that evening. Anyway, back to to Cal’s birthday. So we’re at Cal’s favourite bar and Bor and Bully come in together (they’re good friends). I go up to them to say hello and Bully kisses me hello, which Cal later noted was kind of a dick move to do in front of Bor, but I hadn’t seen either since Valentines Day so I didn’t really care what either of them thought about anything at the time. 

Later I ended up sitting between Cal and Bully at dinner which was unintentional. Mostly because I know I probably see and talk to Cal more than most of his friends, so didn’t want to like highjack his time with his friends, but that ended up not really being an issue as there was only twelve of us and we were able to talk amongst ourselves around the table, Cal and I having our normal amount of banter whilst managing to talk to everyone else as well. 

Bully was a total dick at dinner. He took it upon himself to order for everyone, which is normally fine, but didn’t check any dietary requirements and basically ordered exclusively food that I couldn’t eat. Not in a ‘oh, I’m not eating carbs I can’t have that’ kind of way, more like, ‘if I eat that I will actually die’ kind of way, so we got in a minor fight over that since he was mad I didn’t say anything and I was mad that he ordered exclusively seafood. It was very odd because most of dinner carried on this way, with us bickering like a married couple and then him apologising and trying to touch my hand or something and I really wasn’t into it, and I told him as much at some point when we were both alone waiting for the toilet. I told him that his Neil Strauss jedi mind tricks wouldn’t work on me and he was like, ‘Whatever…’ then I stole a bunch of flowers from the toilet and fashioned a makeshift bouquet for Cal. 

At some point I also had a run-in with Bor in which he expressed being butt-hurt about me never calling him and I was like, ‘You have a phone as well…’ but whatever. I really have no time for Dumb and Dumber to make a short story long. 

Later we were deciding which bar we should go to and I saw a dog wandering around alone so I chased after it to try and help it and then it stopped by a person that was its owner and I had an awkward conversation whilst out of breath with this stranger about why I was chasing their dog down Old Street. Awkward bomb.

On my way back to find Cal I saw a very attractive man standing in front of a bar and we got to talking and it turned out that he was the bouncer and I somehow managed to convince him to leave his station un-manned to go makeout with me away from the bar’s CCTV cameras. Then he got my number and promptly started texting me for the rest of the evening. 

At the end of the night myself and another friend were staying with Cal. Cal tried to put me on an air mattress and I was like, ‘hell no,’ and got into his bed. Then he built what I called the Great Wall of Pillows which at the time I thought was a hil-arious play on words for the great wall of China, but in hindsight it’s really not that funny. 

Cal and our friend started watching Kung Fu Fury and demanded I stay awake to watch it, but I fell asleep about five minutes in.  

3. Learn anything new about Cal?

He doesn’t really care if I hook up with his friends, he just doesn’t want to know about it.  

4. Learn anything new about yourself?

I have finally learned how to reject people that are complete arseholes. Sometimes I lie when I say that the Neil Strauss bullshit doesn’t work on me, but I’m finally learning how to avoid people who may be fun to makeout with at first but will be trouble in the end. 

5. Additional comments 

I think Cal had fun. I tried to hide my drama from him as much as I could, and I think I was pretty successful given that he had ten other people to entertain and catch up with. The drama really only accounted for like 10% of my evening and the rest was a lot of fun, so overall 10/10. 

Next time…the morning after the night before…will the great wall of pillows be enough to prevent non-platonic touching?! SPOILER ALERT: it was. 

What are you thinking?