40 Days of Friendship – Day 18: Cards Against Humanity, Condoms and the Decline of Males

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CAL

1. Did you talk to SAO today?

Yes. I made my famous sweeping generalisations over text, which SAO hates. Although to be fair she made the generalisation that “girls who wear white trousers are dumb.” I agree with this.. but they are also hot, so that’s ok with me. We then talked about the dynamic of girls dressing up… not FOR guys but to put themselves on a higher level that guys so they are desirable and then in the bar scene let guys hit on them just to feel better about themselves, with no real intention of pursuing the guy – I’m tired of the bar scene and that dynamic so now my natural reaction is to avoid girls that are dolled up because I know they’re just playing their game.  There was a lot more texting on this subject today.

Later I ventured over to her place along with a couple of other friends for board game night. We played Cards Against Humanity which spurred some inappropriate conversation.

2. Anything interesting happen? 

We played board games with two friends. I was a little grumpy because I have committed to being sober for six weeks… and everyone else was drinking, including SAO who gave up on her six weeks of sobriety after three days. I learned that games that say “Ages 14+” are too advanced for me, or maybe I was just bored with it.

3. Learn anything new about SAO?

SAO started coming up for names for her non-existent dog and didn’t like any of my suggestions. I hinted that dogs are a starter kit for babies and maybe she’s baby hungry and she didn’t like that comment.

4. Learn anything new about yourself?

I think I am less fun in social situations when sober.

5. Additional comments

[none]

SAO

1. Did you talk to Cal today?

Yes. We texted for most of the day and then he, Lisa and Chuck came over for game night at my flat. We discussed the project with them since they both know about the blog. 

2. Anything interesting happen? 

Oh yes.

We had a couple of very, very interesting conversations over text, which will be outlined in detail below. I literally spent hours editing the texts for today and this was even a day when Cal and I saw each other. We always talked a lot, but I’m finding that we’ve quickly taken to talking an excessive amount throughout the day about pretty much anything and everything. We ended up covering some typical topics today, namely gender and sexuality, dogs, child birth, fitness…the norm. It’s becoming a habit to text each other first thing in the morning and last thing at night. 

I’ve had similar relationships with male friends before which are, essentially, relationships without benefits. Which I think is totally fine and normal for two people to have. The problems I’ve had with this kind of relationship previously is that the guy actually wanted to date me, whereas Cal and I established very long ago that what we have is purely friendship, so it’s refreshing to have someone to talk to whenever you want to without any ulterior motives on either side.

These relationships, of course, cannot carry on this way forever. In fact, I had a guy friend whose girlfriend pretty much forbade him from speaking to me based on the fact that we had been so close, but he was one of the ones who wanted to date me, so I can understand that. I mean, it’s kind of a bitch move, but ultimately I’m not going to make a friend choose between myself and his girlfriend because I’m not that kind of person, but that doesn’t mean they won’t date girls that give them the same ultimatum.

Cal and Lad Boy are very good examples of people that can maintain relationships with girl friends when they have a girlfriend. On Lad Boy’s part, I think it’s because his girlfriend has read every email, Facebook message and text that I’ve ever sent him so she knows exactly how platonic our relationship is. He also started drawing clear boundaries when he started dating his girlfriend, such as not sleeping in the same bed which we use to do platonically all the time when we’d go out, which is completely understandable. I wouldn’t want my boyfriend sharing a bed with another girl no matter how platonic their relationship is so I’m more than happy to take the couch.

Anyway, this digression has gone way too far.

3. Learn anything new about Cal?

Yes. He thinks that naming a dog “Pancake” is a good idea and I kind of hate him for that. 

4. Learn anything new about yourself?

I love dogs more than I love people. In fact I’d go so far as to say that I discovered over the course of discussing gender and dogs with Cal that I really don’t like many people. He should feel lucky that I want to be his friend. They’re few and far between.

5. Additional comments 

We had a phenomenal evening with two of our closest friends from childhood. We had a game night and I cooked dinner for everyone. I basically made breakfast for dinner and then served champagne. I decided that being sober for six weeks is dumb so I drank champagne with our breakfast-dinner and our other friends Lisa and Chuck drank champagne as well. Cal stuck to water and I think he’s slowly losing his will to stay sober for another month and a half.

I had never played Cards Against Humanity until about a month ago when we had our first game night with Lisa and Chuck and it immediately became my favourite game ever. I’m also very good at it which is probably why I like it since I’m extremely competitive. The game is very interesting with the four of us since we mostly have very different senses of humour, but here are some of the highlights:

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I was definitely the snapping turtle one.

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I laughed for about two minutes at the winking at old people card.

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I think I was the judge for this one and was highly disappointed by the bad humour and taste in all of them.

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Inappropriate yodelling for the win.

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I’m like 70% sure that I played the micropig card…and that I won this round…not totally sure since I was probably a bottle of champagne deep at this point in the game.

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You can tell that we’re getting drunker…

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I probably made an inhuman noise laughing at ‘half-assed foreplay’.

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I felt personally victimised when ‘Sweet, sweet vengeance’ did not win.

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‘Pooping back and forth forever’ has been deemed a trump card.

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These were Cal’s cards.

And these were mine…

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I won like a boss.

And now for the elaborate text conversation we had throughout the day…I started by answering his last question from the previous day which was whether hiking was on my trainer’s list of activities to build lean muscle.

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Cal responded ‘Whoa [my name]‘

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We discussed one mutual friend in general who I do this around.

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Cal asked what she was insecure about.

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I compared myself to some of our other female friends who are quite attractive and confident and said that our personalities can sometimes put other women off. And then, not to brag too much, I started talking about my general success with men. 

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And here you see the technical difficulties that come with screenshotting all these conversations. Not missing much here, just more complaining about inequality. Which is important, but this conversation is far from over, so not missing much in the context of this particular discussion.IMG_7190 IMG_7191
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I misjudged my editing probably because I was getting bored and drinking wine and watching Django Unchained all at the same time, but I think it works out to repeat the last message since it’s a sentiment I’m particularly passionate about. 

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No word of a lie, this transition into a different conversation happened next…

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I recently dogsat for Cal and spent a couple of nights at his flat. 

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Cal asked if I kept my handbag in suitable temperature so as not to weaken the condoms. 
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Condoms forgotten, we got back to the more pressing matters…


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Shortly after that we met up at my flat and started getting ready for game night. After Cal left that evening I picked up the pint glass he had been drinking out of and realised it had the word Cal (which is obviously not his real name) on it so I sent him a picture of it. 

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AND THAT IS THE END

UGHHHHHH. This post literally took forever to make. I’m talking hours. It starts to get less text-based in the second half of the project and we spend a lot more time out in London. 

Anyway, thanks for reading! Hope you liked it x

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