I Desperately Need Your Help – Please Read

I am not sure why, but my entire life has consisted of multiple abusive relationships that I’ve crawled my way out of, separated by periods of peace. The cyclical nature of these relationships never cease to catch me off guard, but unfortunately I have found myself in the crawling period phase right now after thinking that I would never be in this kind of situation ever again.

The fact that the sporadic abuse by few individuals has not resulted in me not trusting any individuals is how this continues to happen, and while I feel stupid for being trapped again, I cannot bring myself to judge everyone for the actions of such a minority of people in my life.

The first instance of abuse in my life is not one I wish to discuss publicly. The second was when my boss physically abused me in the workplace by hitting me in front of the entire office, and while I won a case against him that was drawn out over three years, he immediately fled the country upon learning that he was required to pay me £120,000 for wages lost and emotional damages. I haven’t seen a pence of it, but at least he’s hopefully learned that hitting people is an expensive mistake.

I had a boyfriend who wasn’t physically abusive but who was a sociopath that convinced me to lend him a significant amount of money that I have never been paid back for. At the time I didn’t think twice about helping someone I loved but once our relationship began to deteriorate I knew I’d never see that money again.

What makes my current situation ironic and confusing is that I was lied to by a fan. I’ve met a lot of people through my blog, but none of whom were this destructive to my life. It has been pointed out by people who have reviewed the situation that this man was trying to lure me into a situation in which I would be entirely dependent on him. I previously posted that I was starting my own company and when I stated that I was looking for investors this person promised and provided what seemed like convincing evidence that they were going to help me cover the costs of the startup. While I ignored many things that were like, “Hi, I’m a red flag!” I simultaneously gave this person the benefit of the doubt until it was too late.

While I feel completely stupid for what I’ve done, which is trust that this person was going to make good on their promise to invest in my company while I continued to pay off other debts like rent and student loans, it’s done. It has happened and at the moment I am totally screwed.

As I previously stated I needed £5000 to start the company I still intend on starting. The situation gets entirely more dire with certain details that I can’t share for the sake of anonymity, but it’s fair to say that I am in a storm of fuck. This person essentially convinced me to invest in other projects in order to bankrupt me and make me dependent on them. Not only have their actions caused me to not be able to carry out certain deals such as putting my three books which are in the works into actual print as opposed to just ebooks, but it has also cost me about £200 in banking fees in the past five days alone for me prematurely paying things off and then direct debits going out at the beginning of the month and then putting my account in defecit. So this mistake has not only ruined potential projects but actually cost me a significant amount of money.

I understand that it isn’t fair for me to try and pass my fuck ups onto others, but if you are able to help me even a little bit it would be incredibly appreciated. Literally every pound will help at this point while I try to figure out what the fuck I’m going to do and hopefully not be evicted from my flat in the meantime.

If you’d wish to donate via PayPal you can do so here: paypal.me/SexAtOxbridge

Or if you’d wish to donate anonymously you can do so via GoFundMe here: gofund.me/3asmq92s

Literally every pound and word of support helps, so even if you can only give £1 or even just a high five that will make things better.

Thanks for listening and I’m sorry for getting myself into this situation that I have now dragged everyone into with me as well xx



9 Responses to “I Desperately Need Your Help – Please Read”

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  1. H says:

    I’m so sorry you’re in this position, I sincerely hope that things begin to look up and that you receive the help you need. .xx

  2. Nigel says:

    Wow, that sucks. Sadly it isn’t the type of situation I normally help with.
    Hope you get everything sorted.

  3. Sara says:

    I’m so sorry you’ve been hurt and abused by so many people. You are an amazing person and you deserve the best. I’m so sorry I can’t donate, my family’s situation is a little bit tight as well, but i’ll try to motivate you to work on your dream and your company! Keep going, there’s always a rainbow after a storm, and i’m sure you’ll have the most colorful rainbow there can be. We’re always here if you need us. Love you ❤️

  4. David says:

    So you’ve been scammed (?) and are now trying your own – welcome to the millennials new world order. Your whole generation are fuckwits.

    Can’t be arsed to vote – see where that got you.

    Get in to financial problems – no worries I’ll crowd fund it.

    Create a successful Brand and then turn it into a 1D obsessed bore-a-thon.

    FFS you had gold in your hand and you chose to trade it in for shit.

    Just go back to the roots of your blog and write to your strengths; you’ve been off message for at least two years.

    No-one gives a shit about 1D conspiracy theories; we all read you for your bedroom antics and now you want us to crowd fund you because you lost your essential story?

    If you desperately need my help then stop writing this vaporist shit and go back to what you’re good at.

  5. A says:

    Only just read this one, so sorry to hear this. I hope you got things sorted and managed to bounce back. stay strong x


  1. […] last week I wrote this: I Desperately Need Your Help – Please Read and the amount of support I have received in less than a week has been incredible. I really cannot […]

  2. […] that you’re referring to my post in which I outlined my current situation which was titled “I Desperately Need Your Help – Please Read” and explained that I had trusted someone to help me start a publishing company by investing capital […]

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