Is There An ‘Off’ Switch for My Crazy?

If I seem bipolar to you at any point, it’s probably because I am. Not clinically. But if I were to self-diagnose I would go ahead and say that there is a whole lot of truth to my nicknames. ‘Mentalist’ is probably the most accurate. Or maybe ‘Crazy Bitch.’ Anyway, I blame my fluctuating and spiraling mood swings on what has to be a chemical imbalance.

To demonstrate, I will give you a visual representation of what happened to me emotionally last night:

“Yay! I don’t have to do anything today. I can just dance around my room in my pants if I want to.”

Then, after some deep concentration:

!

Telly! Lots of telly!

Then there was something sad on telly about a girl and a boy who breakup. I had previously felt that I related to this character and then she had to go and break her poor boyfriend’s heart all over Channel 4.

I had a minor breakdown.

Decided that love is worthless and that I should go back to being single.

Then life was pretty much exactly like the beginning scene from Bridget Jones’ Diary, where she drinks wine and sings “All By Myself.”

Then I fell asleep out of exhaustion from my mental rollercoaster of a day.

I woke up this morning thinking, “WHAT have I done?”
Luckily I did absolutely nothing except write a whingey blog post about it all. And now this subsequent blog post. I also missed numerous calls and texts from Grey as he was unaware that we were temporarily broken up.
Oh and I may have agreed to spend the day with an ex today. Not THE Ex. But THE Boy from the very first blog. Why would I agree to hang out with someone who dumped me after sleeping with me? Another mystery. He caught me on MSN chat at a very vulnerable time. I didn’t buy the train ticket or anything so there’s still time to stop this. I think maybe I’ll just go see Grey instead since I’m pretty sure The Boy is under the impression that if we hang out we will sleep together. So many things logistically impossible about that scenario.
I hope this has given you perspective on the kind of crazy myself and those around me deal with on a daily basis. Quite funnnnn.
Have a lovely day. Ta ta darlings x x
A foretelling of what will happen when I see Grey today.

16 Responses to “Is There An ‘Off’ Switch for My Crazy?”

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  1. Anonymous says:

    >You definitely need a 'Hollywood Kiss'! (Sex and the City Season 5 – Carrie and Berger)

    I adore your use of pictures, they are so acurate to the mood swings that most girls go through.

    Chin up Poppet I'm sure you and Grey will be ok. xxxx

  2. Lady V says:

    >Just remember that you're in control– you can dump him if you need to, or you can choose to continue to be in a relationship with him.

    Fuck any other advice– it's your life; live it how you see fit.

    (On a sidenote, I'm non-clinically bipolar as well! Hah.)

  3. adventuresofageek says:

    >Hope you enjoy your holiday if you go :) or your time at home if you don't!

  4. Anonymous says:

    >I'm happy to see that i'm not the only "bipolar"!! You are as CRAZY as me ;)

    I'm addict to your blog!!

  5. Anonymous says:

    >lucky, luckey grey

  6. BeMistified says:

    >I find your blog very insightful. The pictures were awesome with the words you told. Thank you for sharing. Will be following.

  7. Kate says:

    >I'm seriously loving the pictures you've incorporated into your posts. I especially love the last one ♥.

    xoxo Kate

  8. Anonymous says:

    >ya.. your totally fucked up.. !!!

  9. Anonymous says:

    >heh i think it would be safe to say that i would be non-clinically bipolar as well

  10. Anonymous says:

    >I actually love you! <3 I totally get all the "crazy" and wish you all the best! xx

  11. Raz says:

    >Whenever I snap at my boyfriend he says "where did THAT crazy come from?" Of course, being that I'm crazy I get moody/upset that he THINKS I'm crazy.

    I get the same thing with moods though. Things I do that are meant to make me happy (and do, for a bit) then suddenly turn bad.

  12. ak says:

    >don't let it grind you down – don't let not knowing what is best make you feel you're bi-polar! Keep the faith!

  13. Anonymous says:

    >fena sikiş iyordu.

  14. the silent observer says:

    >hey..we are so similar!! I go through similar mood swings allll the time! I so love this post..luckily we spend most of the time thinking and not enacting wht we think, otherwise life wud have been reallly difficult not only for us, but also the people around us!! :P

    PS: You know I absolutely adore and love your posts, so wht's new in that? ;)

  15. the silent observer says:

    >btw another thing, the concept of pictures is absolutely hilarious..specially the transition from the penguin to the bored one! you are really good at blogging thru pictures!

  16. Phoebe says:

    >I am so behind with reading your updates!! Apologies, SAO!!
    Anyway, I love your use of pictures, they are so amusing and brighten up the page, just like a story book :)
    To be honest, I think I go through the same pattern as a crazy mentalist. And I do the same with my bf, if he's annoyed me, I break up with him in my mind until things cool over :P
    I won't comment on your situation with Grey as it might have changed, got better/got worse as I'm so far behind, but I'm glad at the time things got better between you two after that incident.
    Off to read more!!
    Love Phoebe x

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