Debriefing

I had maintained consistent contact with Rosie over the course of the week after telling her about the Warren-Langdon debacle, which eventually resulted in a string of rather amusing emails. On Monday Rosie wrote to me: Since you phoned me I’ve been trying to think of brother-related wisecracks. Alas I have failed…so far! I’ll get you my girl, I’ll get you! How was your evening with Lad Boy? Does he know your dirty little secret?! Seriously, don’t worry sweet – when I hear that story I just think those brothers are a couple of douchebags. You can’t help it if you’re irresistible to men. You may wonder why I’m sending you this apparently in the middle of MiC. The answer is simple…I am +1ing it…though I’m not convinced I’ll stay awake so don’t give me any spoilers! Much love…slut! (ha, ha only joking) Love you! x x x x To which I immediately replied: MiC was so good. Texted you one of my favorite quotes! Lad Boy knows nothing. We had dinner and joked about why we woke up together in Warren’s bed. He was like, “Why was he naked?!” And I was like “I don’t know!! :-/ . . [...] There's more...

Brotherly Love

As the train rocked side to side I scrolled through what I had posted on Twitter earlier in the morning. Delete. Delete. I’m a horrible person. Delete. Yep, fair response, I am a “heartless bitch.” UniversalExport is correct as well with, “It’s pretty raw, my dear. It could fuck up a brother relationship and that’s not ones place.” I got off the train and started walking towards my flat. What had I been thinking? Obviously I hadn’t been. I didn’t even realise Langdon and his brother Warren would be out when I agreed to meet up with Lad Boy the night before. Twenty-Four Hours Earlier: iPhone in hand, I watched the blue dot on google maps get closer to the destination. I finally found the pub where Lad Boy had said to meet him and when I got inside I rang him. From across the pub I could see him take his phone out of his pocket so I hung up and headed for his table. ‘Hello!’ He said, getting up to kiss me hello. ‘M-wah!’ He said loudly, then announced, ‘I’ve been drinking since two.’ ‘Excellent.’ I said, completely sober. I hadn’t noticed who was at the table, as [...] There's more...

I’m a Bee!

‘I’m lonely. Let’s get a place together.’ Lad Boy laughed into the phone. ‘Oh. You’re serious. Hm. Maybe.’ ‘It would be so much fun. We practically live together already.’ ‘Not really.’ ‘Which part?’ ‘The us practically living together.’ ‘I promise I won’t be messy.’ I lied. ‘Liar.’ ‘I know.’ ‘Besides, your place is nice. Why don’t you want to live there?’ ‘It’s okay. I’m just alone a lot.’ ‘You lived alone at college.’ ‘True. But that was different.’ ‘And we hang out all the time anyway.’ There was a knock on the door. I got up to get it and opened it. Lad Boy hung up the phone. ‘See? And why couldn’t you wait until I got here to have this conversation?’ ‘I was bored.’ I shrugged. ‘Find a job yet?’ ‘Nope.’ I said, walking into the kitchen. ‘What are you doing for money?’ ‘Don’t worry about it.’ I paused. ‘Wait, that makes me sound like a prostitute. I have money, don’t worry.’ ‘Alright for some.’ ‘Mmm.’ I said raising my eyebrows. ‘I am looking for a job.’ ‘That’s a lie.’ ‘I’m thinking about looking for a job.’ ‘Slightly more believable.’ ‘I might start thinking about looking for a job [...] There's more...

Sex After Oxbridge

I pulled out my sunnies and put them on as I sprawled out on the lawn in Hyde Park whilst Lad Boy read a paper. ‘I need a gap year.’ I said, exhaling heavily. ‘Agreed.’ Lad Boy said. ‘Whatever. You already have a job!’ ‘I know.’ He said, sadly. ‘What am I going to do?’ ‘Weren’t you offered a lot of jobs?’ ‘I was. Didn’t want them. I don’t want to work! One of the offers was in a bank. I don’t want to work in a bank! I want to work outside.’ ‘It’s going to be winter soon.’ I looked around. We were barely in any clothes it was so hot. ‘Really? You have to remind me of that now? When it’s a million degrees out?’ ‘There’s no way it’s “a million degrees” right now.’ He said, flipping a page in the Metro he was reading. ‘You obviously can’t work in a bank because you have no sense of numerical value.’ ‘It feels like Africa out here.’ I moaned. ‘It’s so hotttt.’ ‘My mum said that the other day.’ ‘Said what?’ ‘That it felt like Africa. Then I asked her if she had ever been to Africa and she [...] There's more...

Urban Dater guest post

My new post is on a different website. Confused. com, I know. But it’s going to be okay. Go here: http://theurbandater.com/dating-relationships/ridin-solo.php/#more-4020 Bonus points to whoever can guess who is who in the post. Hint: the one who took me months to get over’s name starts with D and ends with -ale. There's more...

Mejor Sola Que Mal Acompañada

‘What are you doing this weekend?’ I asked, taking a bite of an apple. What I heard on the other end of the phone sounded like random noise. ‘What?’ I heard some fumbling and the pressing of a button. ‘Sorry, you were on speaker.’ ‘For how long?’ I frowned. ‘Awhile.’ Lad Boy said. ‘Anyway, I’m going to Cornwall with the family this weekend.’ I frowned again. ‘What am I suppose to do?’ He laughed. ‘Why don’t you hang out with your own family?’ ‘I see them all the time.’ I said. ‘I want to go to Cornwall!’ ‘Stop whinging.’ ‘Fine. I’ll just go hang out with your friends. They like me better anyway.’ ‘I know. It’s quite annoying. Brix is back in London.’ ‘Oh really?’ ‘Yeah, give him a shout. He’ll be kicking around.’ ‘I need a car.’ ‘You can’t drive.’ ‘I know, but the train from here to London is boring.’ ‘It’s probably quicker.’ ‘Hmm.’ I pondered. ‘What are you doing tonight?’ ‘Nothing. I feel horrendous after last night.’ ‘I know. I think I’m still drunk.’ I said, putting the apple down. I’d gone off of it. ‘You can come over if you like, but I’ll probably go to [...] There's more...

Pretty Standard Thursday Really

‘I think I’m ill.’ Finch moaned. ‘You better not get me sick.’ Lad Boy said. ‘There’s no way that’s possible.’ I said. ‘He has man flu, so you’re safe.’ ‘Ha. Ha.’ Lad Boy said. ‘What’s the plan?’ I asked, hopping up on the kitchen counter. ‘Well, Kate is coming over around seven thirty and I have a friend coming to stay tonight as well. He’s German. You’ll like him.’ I raised my eyebrows. ‘Oh really?’ ‘She loves Germans.’ He said to Finch. ‘Oh, right. The big German from Oxbridge. You told me about him.’ Finch said, referring to Beisse. ‘I need a replacement German.’ ‘He has a girlfriend.’ Lad Boy said, taking a bite out of his toast. ‘Pants.’ I said, sipping my tea. None of us were looking as if we were up for a big one, pre-partying with tea and toast and all. Lad Boy’s phone rang. ‘Hey mate.’ He answered. ‘We’re going out to dinner, what are you up to tonight? … Yeah, mate. Come along … It’s a Pakistani restaurant … It’s really good, and you bring your own alcohol so that makes it cheaper.’ [Sidenote: that didn’t make it cheaper] ‘Just get on the tube. [...] There's more...

Soundlessly Collateral and Incompatible

… thank you to @TommyVillage1 for winning the “Create SAO a Title” Contest. I don’t know what it means either. It’s apparently from a poem. Now onto the post: *     *     * ‘Hiya!’ Lad Boy said, kissing me hello as I opened the door. ‘Allllreeet?’ I said, letting him through. ‘You excited?’ ‘Road trip!’ I yelled. An hour later, on the road with Lad Boy and another one of his friends from home, Finch (short for Finchely Central tube station), I made the cardinal sin of being on a roadtrip with boys. ‘I need a loo stop.’ I didn’t really, but I knew I would within the next hour, and knowing Lad Boy this was an appropriate amount of warning. ‘I kind of want coffee, so that’s good.’ He said. ‘Yeah I’m keen for a coffee break.’ Finch said. We passed a services sign. ‘Oh good, there’s a rest stop with a Starbucks in five miles.’ ‘We’ll stop there.’ I was surprised at how easily persuaded he was to get off the motorway. Five miles later I said, ‘There’s the service station.’ ‘Oh yeah.’ Lad Boy said, pulling into the left lane and signalling.  As we [...] There's more...

Cheeky Chundering and Cuddling

Never leave me alone again. Chundered EVERYWAH xx Lad Boy emerged in the room where I was sprawled out on the couch. ‘Did you seriously just text me from the same house?’ ‘My head hurts.’ I groaned. ‘Way to make friends, dickhead! Did you throw up here?’ ‘No, in the club.’ ‘How did you get back here?’ ‘Taxi. Typed the address into a note on my phone and shoved it in the driver’s face.’ He laughed. ‘Who paid for the taxi?’ ‘Don’t know. I don’t think I did though. I only had about £3.40 in coins in my purse.’ ‘Sounds like an average night in my world.’ I picked up my phone. Langdon Text (2) Unknown Missed Call (4) Unknown Text (1) Lad Boy’s friend was the unknown number and had texted to ask if I was okay and to text her when I got home. I texted her back quickly to apologise profusely and thank her for putting me in a taxi. I opened Langdon’s texts, but first looked through the text history to figure out why he was texting me in the first place. I had apparently called him, he didn’t answer, but then texted: What’s up? I’m [...] There's more...

Can’t Be Bothered.

It was two days since I had slept with Langdon and I hadn’t spoken to Lad Boy yet. I had a mini panic attack that he would be angry that I slept with one of his best friends, but knew he would tell me if he was upset. Or would he? That’s generally why I find our friendship so easy – it’s very black and white, nothing vague, everything very straightforward. I knew he had been to a party the night before so I waited until lunchtime to text him. Dinner and Inbetweeners film later? xx He was probably at work, so I wasn’t about to stress over lack of an immediate response. An hour later I stressed a little bit. Maybe he is just hungover and in bed … Maybe he hates me forever. Oh God, what have I done. Facebook message him. I got onto facebook. He had commented on something half an hour earlier. So he’s alive … I began typing. Hey mate, get my message earlier? Cinema later? x Send. I twiddled my thumbs a bit and then casually stalked him. He leads a fairly boring facebook existence so I got bored quickly. I came across [...] There's more...