Lad Boy, what is the best thing about SAO? And SAO vice versa, what is Lad Boy’s best quality? And also your worst qualities?
LB: SAO is hilarious. the end.
SAO: Definitely his looks. He’s pretty shallow otherwise and morally bankrupt.
LB: Fuck you, I’m not.
SAO: You are a bit though. Joking, he is described by all of our friends as “the most considerate person” we know. His worst quality is that he can be a total dick when he’s drunk. Although that’s quite hilarious usually.
LB: Ugh. SAO’s worst … Ridiculously messy and can’t cook for shit.
SAO: I can cook!
LB: Yeah, if it’s off the reduced aisle.
How many people have you slept with Lad Boy? And did you ever think SAO would have such a colourful love life?
LB: I’m sure there are still things that SAO hasn’t told me, but she tells me most things … What sucks for you guys is I get all the details.
As for the girls. I’m no rock star, but it’s surprising what not having a girlfriend does to your numbers.
SAO: I do tell him everything. So he was well aware of my “colourful love life” … There’s actually quite a bit more to it if you can believe it.
What do you both miss about life at Oxbridge?
LB: I miss the freedom that uni life gives you, and the closeness of my friendship group.
SAO: I miss seeing Lad Boy every day.
LB: Yeah … Oh dear.
SAO: You’re suppose to say the same, you dick!
LB: Mm. About that.
Who do you both think will settle down first and get married out of you both?
LB: Probably me, SAO has OCD when it comes to guys.
SAO: I don’t even know what that means. Probably him though. I’m monogamously challenged and career driven.
Lad Boy, have you ever fancied/wanted to sleep with SAO? Why haven’t you?
LB: Friends have always and will always be a no-no for me. Friends of friends I see as a resource; but my friends are my family.
SAO: I thought Lad Boy was hot when I first met him naturally. But I quickly realised he was just one of those people that I had no sexual interest in whatsoever. Not in a bad way, but in a “we have a pretty amazing bromance ” kind of way. He’ll probably be my maid of honour when I get married.
LB: I’ll be on your maid of honour when you get married.
SAO: That is more likely than not, yes.
LB: Anyway, her stories keep me from any form of feelings that are inclined towards that sort of thing. And the fact that she’s getting through my mates at a rate of knots.
SAO: I don’t get throu — oh wait, yeah. Fair point.
Lad Boy, what do you think of the boys SAO has been with or goes for? And SAO, do you think Lad Boy picks his girls well? Does Lad Boy have a type?
LB: In terms of serious boyfriends, they’re always grade A. That is not the same with the guys she brings home..but whatever..each to their own.
SAO: That’s a pretty generous assessment of my boyfriends. I guess they’re alright human beings. I think that Lad Boy’s taste in girlfriends is good, considering I’ve only known him to have one and she was great. Otherwise, his type is someone who is breathing and non-ugly.
LB: That makes me sound like an absolute piece.
SAO: You are a piece.
Lad Boy, does it surprise you that SAO has a blog? And did the content of any of the posts surprise you?
LB: Did it surprise me that she was telling the world about her liberal ‘between the sheets’ antics. Just a bit. The thing that surprised me more was the amount of people willing to read her drizzle : )
As for the content..I get the uncut, x rated version, so the blog is pretty tame in comparison. I did like reading through them though, reminiscing and spontaneously combusting into fits of laughter.
SAO: You found the stories funny, why wouldn’t everyone else? Our lives are hilarious. And I don’t give you pornographic breakdowns of everything!
LB: Just most things. Or I just walk in on it.
SAO: One time! You walked in ONE time. And seriously cockblocked me.
LB: One time was enough, to re-answer the question above. NEVER.
SAO: A bit harsh.
Would you consider making a “if we’re not married by x age…” pact with SAO?
LB: I made one of those with a girl when I was 15. It still stands, so SAO is going to have a fight on her hands if she wants a pact like that to happen. She’s now a model, I’m really hoping it pulls through.
SAO: I have about seven of those pacts.
How do you know if a guy is in love with you? And how can you make someone love you?
SAO: I guess you just do. The way they look at you, as in over the top eye contact — that’s usually a sign.
In terms of making someone love you, why in the world would you want to do that? If someone doesn’t love you for being yourself then they can fuck right off. I wouldn’t waste a second of my time trying to convince someone to be in love with me, because that’s not love, that’s desperation. And settling for someone who doesn’t love you as much as they should.
LB: If he bolts like a horse out of the gates the morning after, that’s usually a bad sign. Honesty, if I guy can’t keep his hands off you, then they obviously like you more than a little bit.
When I’ve been in love, and I’ve fallen deeply in love, it’s the way I speak about that person that makes it obvious. My eyes will light up and I will start accentuating everything with ridiculous hand gestures … so ask his mates how he talks about you. Haha, no, don’t do that. Definitely do not do that.
Trying to make someone fall in love with you is the worst idea ever! Look where it got Bruce Almighty. Guys are shallow characters, they like sex, beer and food, in that order. Guys don’t look for girlfriends, or look to fall in love, it just happens. It happens with the right girl at the right time, and you’ll both know when that happens. Don’t try and make someone love you, it’ll push them away. If you do think you love him more than he loves you, be patient and remember…sex, beer and food.
I’ve been watching a documentary on the radical religious right wing here in the US, what’s your take on them, and have they ever contacted you?
SAO: They haven’t contacted me directly, no, but a religious website wrote something about me when the blog first began. They shortly thereafter password protected their website to be a members-only kind of thing so I can no longer access the site. How I wish to be a card-holding member of THAT club.
In all honestly, everyone is welcome to their opinion and whether or not we approve of each other’s lifestyles is irrelevant. But you’d never find me writing an article about my opinion on their lifestyle, or anyone’s for that matter.
LB: Do they really have nothing better to do with their time?
SAO: Why were they looking at the site in the first place anyhow?
LB: Obs totes addicted.
How do you find the time to write it all down?
SAO: I don’t. That’s why the blogs have been so sporadic.
Should I risk losing a close friendship by telling a girl how I feel about her?
LB: Absolutely, she’s not a close friend if you feel that way, she’s someone who you want something more with. That isn’t a friend. Go for it, you only live once and it might be the best decision you ever make. And if it doesn’t work out, at least you know and can get on with your life.
SAO: Has that ever happened to you? Ever been completely rejected by a girl who’s your friend?
LB: … Nah. They know me too well and probably think I’m disgusting.
SAO: I certainly do.
LB: Plus, like I said, I don’t go there.
And for the conclusion of our Q&A sessions each week, Lad Boy and I are going to ask each other one question. It can be about absolutely anything.
SAO: Do you think that it’s morally wrong of me to have slept with brothers?
LB: One, I think it’s hilarious that you’d go anywhere near those two douchebags, especially when Langdon has such a complex about Warren. And two, in terms of morals, if it gives me something to rip the shit out of them about, then it’s morally right by me.
LB: So who was better?
SAO: I’ve already told you this. And you’re the only one who knows. Well, now you and everyone else. In terms of Langdon vs Warren, Warren is hands down a better all around human being in all areas.
LB: Fine, then who would you rather date?
SAO: Ugh. Neither.
LB: I knew you had a brain.
SAO: Though once thought to be mythical, like Narnia, my brain does indeed exist.