LB while you were at uni did you ever hear anything about the blog? If so what did you think about it?
LB: I didn’t hear a thing about it whilst I was there. If I had my reaction probably would have been, “SAO, you should read this blog, it’s hilarious and sounds uncannily like us.”
SAO: You’re so pretty … but so dumb.
LB: It says more about my opinion of your writing skills.
SAO: What type of girls do you think Lad Boy goes for? Would you say he has a definite type? and Did you get on with any of them?
SAO: His type is someone who is breathing.
LB: No, no, that’s your type. If you’re a petite brunette, call me : )
SAO: I feel like you’ve dated more blondes.
LB: Yeah … blondes for fun. The last girlfriend was naturally a brunette.
LAD BOY: Would you say you’re a relationship type of guy or do you prefer just dating?
LB: I hate it – dating sucks. Going out to dinner and getting quizzed about my marriageability by a random. No thanks.
SAO: I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone that Lad Boy was “just dating” … We’re a lot alike in that we don’t date. I can’t think of anything I’d like to do less than go out on a date with a stranger. I already have friends I know I like to spend time with, and I don’t like wasting time with dating. Which is why more often than not my relationships are a progression of liking someone, becoming friends, sleeping together, and then being in a relationship. None of this “first date, second date, wait a week to call, does he like me? Do I like him? Now he likes me but I’m not sure anymore if I like him …” kind of nonsense.
LB: Giving dating advise to my 56 year old Auntie, on the other hand, I’m a huge fan of.
To answer your question, I’m definitely a relationship type of guy. Throughout uni I was a serial monogamist and I don’t think there was a period of more than 3 months I didn’t have a girlfriend, however since uni I’ve basically been single.
Where is the craziest place you’ve had sex?
SAO: On a boat moored up on the bank
LB: Is that it?
SAO: We definitely didn’t know the owners.
LB: On a ski lift. That was awkward…and cold.
LB, have you ever slept with one of SAO’s friends?
LB: Most of her friends are my friends, therefore no.
SAO: I can’t honestly say that I know a lot of the people you’ve slept with.
SAO won’t say, but what did you study at Oxbridge, LB?
LB: That would be telling
What is the most romantic thing both of you have ever done for an ex partner?
SAO: I bought him a card that said “Lie Back and Think of England” for Valentines Day.
LB: Haha, I bought my ex a Boris Johnson face mask for Valentine’s day and wrote on the back, “Next time, wear this xx”
How soon is too soon to say I love you? Do you think when you’re in love with someone, the sex is better or is that just nonsense?
SAO: It’s not nonsense. I don’t think it’s a law that the sex is always better with someone you love, as I’ve had good sex with people I don’t even particularly like that much, but it can definitely be more satisfying in all aspects with someone you love.
In terms of saying “I love you” … I say it as soon as I feel it. Controversial school of thought, but I only regret the times I didn’t say it.
LB: SAO told me she loved me the first night we met. She could have been quoting a film though.
SAO: It was from a film, yes. I believe I said, “Can I tell you something without you getting upset? … I love you.”
LB: I’ve had incredible sex with both random and lover. Not at the same time, I might add. I think if both you and the chosen participant are quite confident, no strings attached sex can be very, very good, especially when there are no false pretenses in the morning and you both peace out after a kiss on the cheek.
That said, I’m a cuddler, so sex with a girlfriend gets my vote every time.
In my experience, I’ve always said “I love you” after I’ve been in love for a while – I should have said it earlier.
LB, what is the story behind your first time?
LB: 17 long years.
What has been your highlight of 2012 so far?
SAO: Most of my good times have been nights out with LB and crew. I’ve been working quite a bit, but it makes the weekends better. Last night LB and I fell asleep on a bus for the better part of an hour. That was special.
LB: Especially when waking up and realising I’d dribbled in her hair. Whoops.
SAO: That’s what gives it volume.
Are either of you dating/seeing anyone? What’s the story of your last hook up?
SAO: No/no. I hooked up with someone last weekend who I see on and off in a purely sex-related manner.
LB: And purely on your terms, that poor guy.
SAO: More like lucky guy.
LB: I’m having some time to myself right now, slash, I need to get out more.
SAO: We’d probably have more luck finding people to shag if we didn’t pass out, dribbling all over each other, on busses. Not the sexiest look.
Finally SAO, how are the Tube Stops?! When did you last see them and has anything major happened with them?
SAO: They all have jobs and are quite busy with their lives. I unfortunately have not seen any of them this year which is quite sad. Life gets busy after uni. It’s a completely different social dynamic when you don’t live in gated quarters with all of your friends.
LB: I miss those days.
I really like a guy but he’s not a very good kisser. How can I guide him to improve without hurting his feelings?
SAO: Take control and kiss him the way you want to be kissed. If he’s a really sloppy kind of lingering, wet kisser, then keep it short. Put your hands behind is head so you can actually physically control the situation. Bad kissing is not ideal, as it usually directly correlates to how someone is in bed (not always), but everyone has to learn. Think about how you were when you first started kissing. Everyone just needs a bit of guidance. Be patient if you like him as much as you say you do, but I’d certainly want subtle help if I was terrible at something.
LB: It’s not a business meeting, you don’t have to ‘physically control the situation’.
Bad kissing puts me on such a downer; when I meet a girl you like and she starts eating my face, assaulting my tonsils with her tongue or crashing her teeth against mine, it’s not ideal. It’s not an instant game ender for me but if it doesn’t get better, I definitely start the phase.
I do agree with SAO (doesn’t happen often) about you needing to give him guidance. Be gentle, telling a guy he’s a bad kisser is like kicking him in the balls, so veer clear of that one. You can be pretty obvious with your guidance though; put your hands on his face and literally steer him, and pull away when he does something you don’t like. He’ll get the idea pretty quickly and change. If nothing changes, start to get physical. If you’re in bed together, take control and go on top, that way you can kiss him, rather than the other way round.
So was the Killing Kittens Independent article based on you?
SAO: No. I have never, nor will I ever go to a sex party. I enjoy sex, but from the comfort from a room where no one is watching. It’s an intriguing concept and some people are more open about it, and the article was intriguing, but I’m quite private with things like that. I don’t know why I’m trying to sound apologetic about keeping sex behind closed doors. But there you go.
LB: You’re such a prude.
And now, Lad Boy and SAO ask each other one question of their choosing …
LB: Have you ever had any lesbian tendencies?
SAO: I kissed a girl and I liked it, but kissing is about as far as it goes. For some reason whenever Poppy and I went out last year we would end up dancing together and maybe kissing. Not in an attention-grabbing kind of way. She was a good kisser. When it comes to the idea of dating or sleeping with a girl I can’t think of many things that seem less desirable. Boys are difficult enough to deal with, I can’t imagine dealing with someone as emotionally unstable as I am in a relationship. Aka, a girl.
LB: It’s tough.
SAO: Have you ever had a sex dream about a guy?
LB: Not since I had a 3 day panic attack when I was 18 and thought I was gay. That would have been an awkward conversation with my girlfriend at the time.
SAO: [Literal and not figurative lol here] Why did you think you were gay?
LB: I thought I fancied a dude. It was a fad.
SAO: Gayyyyyyyyyyyy. Our lives would be so much more fun if you were my gay best friend! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with liking dudes. Could make your life easier.
LB: I would definitely get more action.
SAO: Guys are so much easier than girls.