I know, I know.

Aka, I know how to clear internet history. Clearing it from the second your parentals walk into the room and to the computer is another story. I love the ‘rents, but living with them can be a major hassle. Going back to school will be a welcomed freedom from a life of ‘Where are you going?’ ‘When will you be home?’ Not cool. Also it means being back with Grey full-time. Not sure how I feel about this. I’ve rarely had to breakup with people, but in this case I may be willing to make an exception. I’m not sure that things are working and I’d almost rather be single than be constantly worrying about ‘the other half’ – you know? Well time to get one with my day, hope everyone is well. Talk to you soon lovers xx There's more...

Sorry

My computer has been acting up and I can’t exactly use the family computer to post without deleting all internet history and then having my parents thinking I’m watching porn on our PC at all hours of the night. A bit awkward. And my parents just walked in. Fantastic timing. Must jet off lovers. An update to come soon. I’m still with Grey. Things are much better, ta for the comments x x There's more...

Is There An ‘Off’ Switch for My Crazy?

If I seem bipolar to you at any point, it’s probably because I am. Not clinically. But if I were to self-diagnose I would go ahead and say that there is a whole lot of truth to my nicknames. ‘Mentalist’ is probably the most accurate. Or maybe ‘Crazy Bitch.’ Anyway, I blame my fluctuating and spiraling mood swings on what has to be a chemical imbalance. To demonstrate, I will give you a visual representation of what happened to me emotionally last night: “Yay! I don’t have to do anything today. I can just dance around my room in my pants if I want to.” … Then, after some deep concentration: ! Telly! Lots of telly! Then there was something sad on telly about a girl and a boy who breakup. I had previously felt that I related to this character and then she had to go and break her poor boyfriend’s heart all over Channel 4. I had a minor breakdown. Decided that love is worthless and that I should go back to being single. Then life was pretty much exactly like the beginning scene from Bridget Jones’ Diary, where she drinks wine and sings “All By Myself.” Then [...] There's more...

Oh, Bother

Relationships can be great. They can also be horrendous. My relationship with Grey has been wavering in and out of the latter. I won’t lie to you, as it really is of no use. You don’t know me. I don’t know you. So where else can I be completely honest about things? I am absolutely miserable. When I told Grey I forgave him, that was pretty honest. Saying that I would ever trust him again was another issue entirely. As I’ve told you, I’ve been cheated on. As in proper, entirely second relationship happening behind my back, cheated on. People had warned me about The Ex, I knew what I was getting myself into. Grey was something different. He was sweet, kind, the kind of boyfriend you’d see in some cheesy film. Obviously from experience I know that men cheat. Mainly because they’re either cheating with me or trying to cheat with me, or telling me about their cheating. I don’t know why I thought Grey would be any different. My mistake I suppose. I have come to realise that Grey and I are so completely different that it borders on incompatible. The idea that opposites attract is fine and [...] There's more...

Cheated

> Since I previously used She Hulk as an example of my kind of temper, I think it’s only appropriate to continue the theme. In what can only be described as the biggest kick in the arse from karma ever, I have been cheated on. And in what was perhaps the most childish reaction possible, I partook in some retaliation cheating myself. Me, retaliating. There are a few different types of cheaters: 1. Cheaters who confess. I call these ones selfish. Unless there’s an infection involved, if you want to keep your relationship in tact it’s probably best to not kiss and tell. 2. Cheaters who care nothing about the person they cheat with, think nothing more of it than a drunken snog/shag, and do not tell their partner about it. 3. Cheaters who are caught. There are different types of people that the cheaters cheat with as well: 1. Randoms that they will probably never speak to again. 2. Friends who they will probably speak to again. And with whom they’ve probably been having some sort of emotional affair with anyhow. 3. A second girlfriend or boyfriend that they have been hiding from you. Grey is a #1 Cheater [...] There's more...

Matchmaker

If there is one thing I have learned about dating it is this: never let your friends set you up with somebody. Inevitably, it will be said friends that break you up.  It seems great at first “Oh, you’re friends with so and so? Me too! You like the Inbetweeners, drinking beer, and complaining about our mutual friend? Me too!!” It’s as if you’re immediately stepping into a relationship with someone you feel like you know, but, as it will soon be revealed, there are details about this person who “is perfect for you!” that probably shows how little the person setting you up knows you. If you hear those words from a friend, feign illness, fabricate an imaginary boyfriend or girlfriend, run, do whatever to get out of the situation. I have been set up twice now. Once by a female friend and once by Lad Boy. Recently one of my best mates from oop north claimed he had a great guy for me. Said “great guy” burst into the party thirty minutes later, paralytically drunk, and almost fell on me. Twice. ‘Fanks for that! Setup No. 1: I have a friend who we shall call Pandora. Pandora decided [...] There's more...

Let Me Entertain You

I woke up with that song stuck in my head today. Despite some fabulous and not-so-fabulous solo work, I am so happy that RW is back with Take That. Moving on, I’ve thought about why it is that I continue to write this blog and I think it’s mainly to entertain myself. Especially during the long summer days stuck at home. The posts may be sporadic, but most things in my life are. I enjoy the feedback from the blog, which is primarily good, with the occasional ‘You are a boring bitch’ comment, which I then reject in my Comment Moderation section. I even like those comments though, because it’s always beyond me why someone would take the time to get through an entire post which they are clearly not enjoying, think, ‘I really don’t like this’ and then take the extra time on said post to write some random insult that will never be published. Silly. Just google something else to read. A lot of people are too interested in what they want. Myself included. Usually what I want is to write funny stories about whatever it is that has happened in the recent past. I want everybody to [...] There's more...

Around the World: Australia

It has to be said that some of the best partiers I know are Aussies. Some of the most attractive men I’ve known (and shagged) have been Aussies as well. In fact there was one I was shagging consistently for a few months. He had gone to my uni but graduated prior to me arriving, but came back to visit friends now and again, which is how we met. We were in a pub with mutual friends and he came over and began speaking to me. I had been warned by numerous people about this boy, mainly that he was a bit of a Womanizer (and yes that song should be in your head as the soundtrack to this post). Now, I heeded their advice at first. Sort of. We did end up snogging in the middle of a party (which was captured on camera … hot picture) but that was the extent of our first meeting. Now, when someone warns a girl about somebody else it usually goes like this: ‘Whatever you do, do not hook up with this person. They are scum.’ And I hear: ‘Blah blah blah … hook up with this person. They are blah blah blah.’ You [...] There's more...

You Say ‘Psycho Bitch’ Like It’s a Bad Thing …

I have plans today. That I should be leaving for about five minutes ago, but whilst showering I contemplated a comment that I have become a ‘psycho bitch.’ Trust me, this isn’t a new trait. I think it lies dormant in most people. For me it generally does not rear its ugly head often, and as I said it’s only about 5% of the time that it completely consumes my thoughts and then I go and type out some rant about what I’m feeling, and then I have done with it. The other 95% of the time I am a completely functioning member of society and a lovely and charismatic person to be around. Such is one of the many glories of having an anonymous outlet through which to vent my frustrations. Otherwise I may unload all of this onto someone who could receive it any number of ways. I think general reception from my (mostly) male audience would be ‘Psycho Bitch’ so I’m glad I have an audience on which to test the validity or craziness of my thoughts. Whereas I’m usually like this:   ‘Hm, I wonder if he likes chocolate chip cookies or ginger nut cookies …’ [...] There's more...

It’s not Me, it’s Her.

No, it’s me. It’s definitely me and my paranoia, but here is some backstory to why that is exactly. As aforementioned, I trust Grey. I trust him completely. It’s other girls I don’t trust. Why? You may ask. Well, because remember when I told you about how The Ex’s ‘lover’ stalked me? She did, but in a ‘I’m your friend!’ kind of way. She tried to make nice, but only in order to get more information about The Ex and try to sabotage my relationship with him. I didn’t even know she was close with The Ex when she started chatting to me, but she seemed nice enough and then one night she asked if I wanted to go to dinner with her and that’s when her obvious fishing for details on The Ex began. Sneaky tart. Cat is not like this girl. Actually, she is kind of like this girl in that I think she has a crush on my boyfriend. But other than that, her and I were friends before I began dating Grey and I don’t think she has a malicious bone in her body. I am more upset with myself than with her because I see [...] There's more...