The Sexth Sense

I was in the toilets of a club last night, standing at the sinks and giving myself a quick look-over in the mirror when a girl walked in and pushed a cubicle door open, accidentally hitting whoever was slouched on the ground and hugging the toilet for dear life. Having had no idea anyone else was even in the toilets at the time, I was equally as startled as the girl who barged in on this girl taking a nap in the loo.

“Oh! Sorry! … Sarah? Is that you?”
“Yeah …” Sarah said, her voice echoing through the porcelain.
“Are you alright babes?” Now, I don’t know these girls. But it was clear to me that Sarah was obviously not alright.
“Yeah,” Sarah lied.
“Do you want some water babes?”
“Uh huh.”
Now, this idiot friend walked to the sink, downed her VK, poured some water into the somewhat empty bottle, then brought it to Sick Sarah. Great, that’s just what she wants, alcohol-scented water.
“Here, now don’t spill it.” Right, yeah make sure you don’t spill water on yourself, because then you’d really look ridiculous.
I heard the bottle hit the floor. Guess she’d be looking slightly more ridiculous with apple alcopop-flavoured water all over her skirt, which was actually already wet from whatever liquid was on the floor she had been lying on for God knows how long. I don’t even like to step on those floors, I shudder at the thought of actually sitting on them. But I think this was the least of poor Sarah’s worries. Having exhausted the amount of time socially acceptable to pretend to wash my hands while actually spying on this little scene, I wiped my hands on my shirt (those hand-dryers are a threat to public health. Really, google it.) and went back out to dance my way through the sea of fellow students and townies who were probably just one VK from being like Sarah.
There was no point to that story, I just thought it was entertaining. Though not rare. Touch wood, I have not been sick from alcohol in over a year. Why? Well, quite simply I just started drinking more and I think my body has adapted. I jest. Even more simply, because it’s very hard to shag someone when you are out of your mind drunk. It’s also quite hard to maintain acceptable standards when drunk. There’s often a point, when sipping on a drink that quite resembles Pick ‘n’ Mix, when you stop thinking, ‘Who here do I fancy?’ and start thinking, ‘Who here looks as if they want to leave soon?’ The process of selection and courting gets shorter, and the list of possibilities gets longer. The list basically entailing every male in sight. What is this primal, carnal desire for sex that suddenly comes over people? Is it due to the alcohol? Or is it secretly just festering within us at all times, trapped by our inhibitions.
There are some people with whom I have an unexplainable and constant desire to touch. Not in a stalker kind of way, just in a way that if we’re together, I find myself near them, small gestures no one else would take note of, such as our legs touching when we sit next to each other. We’ll stand close together, as if magnetically drawn to one another. It’s such a purely physical reaction, that I can’t help but assume it’s chemically related to the way they smell or something like that. It’s often mutual as well, they’ll touch my arm when they talk to me, or, in the case of boyfriends, hold my hand all the time, rest their hands on me when we’re just sitting together. Unexplainable, but it’s also with these people that I have the best sex.
Maybe, then, there is something to be said for that moment you stop thinking and start sensing who to sleep with. There’s less reasoning and more feeling to that kind of process. Not that I think we should all get drunk and wander around touching people to see if there’s a spark there, but I do believe that when it comes to sex there has to be an element of physical compatibility – not in the way that they look, but in the way that they make you feel. More often than not, there just isn’t that ‘I have to have you’ kind of feeling with people, but when you find that person who makes your cheeks burn and your heart pound by their mere presence, I would suggest you hop on the right foot and do the wrong thing with them, because the sex will probably be explosive. If nothing else, do it as a science experiment.
I do apologise for the terrible, terrible pun in the title. I thought ‘The Sixth Sense’ would give the impression that I was about to write a ghost story. Or make people think of that weird little kid. Either way, it was all bad.

22 Responses to “The Sexth Sense”

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  1. Paula says:

    >Hahahahaha I LOVE the pun!! Okay, you're right -it might not be very good but it was definitely funny.

    I totally understand and agree with what you say about that 'physical connection'.

    Keep them coming!

    Good night.

  2. annabel says:

    >Ha! Best post yet!!

    You are truly witty!

    I had sex chat with a stranger recently… he wrote very eloquently… erotically… it was AMAZING! But when I met him in person…. eeeuurgh!!

    Strange thing mutual attraction, chemistry, sexual tension!!

    You hit the nail on the head RE scanning a room, flirty touching equating to good sex!! etc.

    Any man who is under your radar must be very lucky…. and very shaggable!!

    Keep it coming!!!! INCREDIBLY entertaining!!!



  3. Anonymous says:

    >"Keep them coming!"… very funny.

  4. Anonymous says:

    >I so had this the other night, shame it wasnt with my boyf. I found myself so attracted to this guy who, in all honesty, is a downgrade. But there was something there, i think I have been eyeing him up for a while. Also found myself doing the leg touching thing (amongst others!). Talk about chemistry. It might have just been the vodka though. And maybe the thought that I shouldn't of been doing it. Hmmmmmmm. He was just as into it as me too!

    I have also started a blog. Just for me though. For now anyway! I sorta miss having casual sex. I was always rather good at it!

  5. claire says:

    >wow you're a dick. Didn't even think twice about trying to help the poor girl just thought you'd publicly ridicule her, classy!

  6. vjs says:

    >The pun was very funny . One question though what is VK ?

  7. hamfruitcake says:

    >to the above, vjs, VK is an alcopop commonly sold very cheap in clubs and downed in quick succession by those wishing to get hammered. Oh and it comes in a variety of fruity flavours, or iron brew!

    The post was very fun, there are countless times you find girls in the toilets trying to prop up the drunk on the floor friend. Sad but at least they have someone looking out for them. I like your whole chemical magnetism idea. Sounds very effective in practise.

  8. Anonymous says:

    >I think a lot of who we're drawn to is down to sciene and psychology. Smell has a huge impact and I think we do have as you say a 'sexth' sense. You kind of know that there's this chemistry between you and someone else which you can only form with some people; you can't always explain why you're with that person, you just have to be. It's like a need for them, wanting their attention and touch all the time.
    I think you've pinpointed a major unexplained question here 'What is this primal, carnal desire for sex that suddenly comes over people? Is it due to the alcohol? Or is it secretly just festering within us at all times, trapped by our inhibitions.' Is it always the alcohol or is there something more to it? I have no answer except I don't believe alcohol can be blamed unless you're comatosed.
    I think intimacy is what defines a relationship, if you can be 'open' in that sense, your relationship will be more comfortable because there's nothing holding you back.
    I've studied the psychology behind relationships and I find it interesting how much people do not realise about their relationships unless you really take the time to study what's behind it.
    Well I'm waffling now, but this was a really great, thought-provoking post! I enjoyed it immensely! Phoebe x

  9. Will says:

    >It seems to me, you forget that we are nothing more than animals – with an innate desire to procreate. In many ways, Chuck Palahniuk was right; the condom is the glass slipper of our generation, it allows us our no consequence sex… or it seems to. As your experiment with Dill shows, we have a desire for emotional intimacy as well, and then we find the true consequence of sex in our generation

  10. Anonymous says:

    >Darling, you have entirely reinvigorated my excitement for beginning life as an Oxford undergrad in October! xoxo

  11. Anonymous says:

    >keep up the good work!

  12. vjs says:

    >Thanks to Annabel & Hamfruitcake . We don't have it in India .

  13. Anonymous says:

    >"…small gestures no one else would take note of, such as our legs touching when we sit next to each other. We’ll stand close together, as if magnetically drawn to one another."

    I know exactly what you're talking about! Great post

  14. J says:

    >hmm…nice pun there…….!

    And I do feel same and exact about your magnetism and fragerance thoughts, btw please put some serious thoughts on what I have asked you for…

    thank you so much for the great entertainment!

    To Vjs, buddy, we do have it in India..

    You tc ……!
    Your reader from India. :)

  15. Anonymous says:

    >I don't thinks its urs own words…?

  16. Anonymous says:

    >I have been intrigued by your chapters on sex with strangers amd like many have really enjoyed reading your encounters. However I have yet to read a blog on your experiences with Asian gentlemen. How was it for you? If you can shed any light on this topic please contact me on I believe that you should compile all these escapades into a novel which is sure to a best seller.

  17. Anonymous says:

    >V funny blog !

  18. CRM says:

    >"Not that I think we should all get drunk and wander around touching people to see if there’s a spark there" – I think we should…

    Also, v. envious that my current experience at Oxbridge is nothing like yours, so far. (Not helped by having an absent boyfriend…)


  19. Anonymous says:

    >Love that song. 'Keep them coming', indeed indeed.

  20. diegosietesoles says:

    >I'd just like to say that your prose is absolutely fantastic and that I truly admire your sense of humour for its extremely subtlety and perfect timing. But what I really think sets you apart (from all those other bloggers that preach inane philosophies and mind-numbingly stupid "moral codes") is that your writing is 0% pretentious. You manage to separate yourself from your experiences and write about them from a fresh persepective (see Sociological Imagination). I enjoy your (apparent?) lack of morals; your writing is the offspring of postmodernism in that sense. Great stuff, keep 'em coming… :)

  21. Waffle-Fish says:

    >Bit late now but the smell thing is likely due to your immune representation molecules. You're attracted to the ones who give you the best chance of healthy, resistant offspring.

    So the ones you like the smell of would be good for children ;)

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