It starts with that flippity floppity feeling, but here is an extensive explanation of what happens in my brain and in my life when I start to like someone.
Originally posted on Nov. 28, 2013, at 4:20 p.m.
I fall for people quite quickly. Sometimes immediately.
Sometimes it’s a slow burner. I meet them and I’m not really sure what I think.
And if they turn out to be boring, it is a definite no-go.
But inevitably that moment will hit me like a brick wall and I realise I’m falling for them. Then the seduction commences.
Obviously I go straight to the internet to Facebook stalk them.
There’s really only one piece of information I look for.
If he’s single, it feels like a major victory.
If he’s in a relationship, it’s disaster city. Population: me.
But I try to play it cool. I didn’t want to date them anyway.
Then secretly I wait for this day.
Ultimately I decide to text them and then subsequently proceed to obsess about the content and appropriateness of said text.
Then I stress while waiting for a response.
When they finally respond I get a bit overwhelmed at first.
But then I continuously re-read what they wrote and immediately resume analysis of the situation.
I begin to speak with my friends about him. Often. And enthusiastically.
But after awhile they tire of the relentless obsessing.
Inevitably they tell me their real thoughts on the matter.
When it gets to the point that the attraction seems mutual and escalates to flirting I celebrate.
And when I finally get a date with them I walk around like I am the figurative King of the World.
Once on said date I try to be suave and sexy.
In reality, though, I find it hard to maintain composure.
If the attraction is mutual it can be fun.
But if momentum stalls I know when to cut my losses.
And then make vague plans for the future to be polite.
But if things go well then usually somewhere down the line in the near future good things come to those who wait.
Sometimes I realise I’m just not that into them, and in that case I recover pretty quickly.
But no matter what happens, I typically maintain the same attitude about it.
I bid you adieu.