The Stages Of Having A Crush

It starts with that flippity floppity feeling, but here is an extensive explanation of what happens in my brain and in my life when I start to like someone.

I fall for people quite quickly. Sometimes immediately.

The Stages Of Having A Crush

Sometimes it’s a slow burner. I meet them and I’m not really sure what I think.

The Stages Of Having A Crush

And if they turn out to be boring, it is a definite no-go.

The Stages Of Having A Crush

But inevitably that moment will hit me like a brick wall and I realise I’m falling for them. Then the seduction commences.

The Stages Of Having A Crush

Obviously I go straight to the internet to Facebook stalk them.

The Stages Of Having A Crush

There’s really only one piece of information I look for.

There's really only one piece of information I look for.

If he’s single, it feels like a major victory.

The Stages Of Having A Crush

If he’s in a relationship, it’s disaster city. Population: me.

The Stages Of Having A Crush

But I try to play it cool. I didn’t want to date them anyway.

The Stages Of Having A Crush

Then secretly I wait for this day.

The Stages Of Having A Crush

Ultimately I decide to text them and then subsequently proceed to obsess about the content and appropriateness of said text.

The Stages Of Having A Crush

Then I stress while waiting for a response.

The Stages Of Having A Crush

When they finally respond I get a bit overwhelmed at first.

The Stages Of Having A Crush

But then I continuously re-read what they wrote and immediately resume analysis of the situation.

The Stages Of Having A Crush

I begin to speak with my friends about him. Often. And enthusiastically.

The Stages Of Having A Crush

But after awhile they tire of the relentless obsessing.

The Stages Of Having A Crush

Inevitably they tell me their real thoughts on the matter.

The Stages Of Having A Crush

When it gets to the point that the attraction seems mutual and escalates to flirting I celebrate.

The Stages Of Having A Crush

And when I finally get a date with them I walk around like I am the figurative King of the World.

The Stages Of Having A Crush

Once on said date I try to be suave and sexy.

The Stages Of Having A Crush

In reality, though, I find it hard to maintain composure.

The Stages Of Having A Crush

If the attraction is mutual it can be fun.

The Stages Of Having A Crush

But if momentum stalls I know when to cut my losses.

The Stages Of Having A Crush

And then make vague plans for the future to be polite.

The Stages Of Having A Crush

But if things go well then usually somewhere down the line in the near future good things come to those who wait.

The Stages Of Having A Crush

Sometimes I realise I’m just not that into them, and in that case I recover pretty quickly.

The Stages Of Having A Crush

But no matter what happens, I typically maintain the same attitude about it.

The Stages Of Having A Crush

I bid you adieu.

 

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