The Big 5-0

And that’s not the number of men I’ve slept with. It now marks the amount of blog posts I have written. That in itself is blog-worth enough I feel. I’m going to be lazy and just cut and paste the latest article I wrote for a student newspaper because I’m halfway through a bottle of wine and half an hour from going out so I simply lack the time to elaborate on what is to follow, but trust me, I will. The full story is quite amazing and includes a lot more than a cheeky shag. Remember the Twitter update about my night with the Rugby player? (Note: new** rugby player, NOT Rugby Blue) No? Then you can fuck right off. I jest. I have more followers on Twitter than I do on the blog, so I naturally assume all those following the blog follow my Twitter, but that could be a very inaccurate assumption. The 50th post also celebrates 50 posts worth of anonymity, and hopefully 50 more. I won’t be in uni forever, and I’m not quite sure where this is going after I graduate. Sex in London? How very typical. For now though, I have people arriving [...] There's more...

Breakup Sex

I walked out of the library and as I made my way towards my bike I had my head down, deep in thought. It had been a couple days since the Tiger and I felt as if I had finally sobered up after that massive night out. There was a Halloween party being thrown that night and I contemplated whether or not to go. It was at a friend’s house and there was a 50-50 chance Grey would be there. Plus, I still had no costume. As I contemplated my weekend plans I noticed a bicycle riding towards me in my periphery. I looked up as it became clear that it was coming directly at me just as it came to a halt, inches from my feet. “Alright?” “Hello,” I said, slightly taken aback. It had been almost ten days since I’d seen Grey and it was almost as if I’d forgotten what he looked like. “I didn’t recognise you.” “Oh, cheers,” he teased. “I don’t know, you just look different.” “Good different?” “Um, yah.” I said, a bit too enthusiastically. I am so suave sometimes. “Why are you dressed so smart?” he asked. I looked down at my outfit. [...] There's more...

The Rebound(s)

“How are you feeling my darling?” “I’m okay. Still kind of sad.” “I thought about this after you told me the other day, and there is something wrong in that boy’s head. It is his loss.” The owner of my local kebab shop finalised his statement by placing his hands around his wide waist and nodding his head as if to say that was the final word on the matter. “Here you are my darling,” he said in his strong accent as he handed me an order of chips. I sighed, watching the grease and vinegar seep through the paper. “I know.” Most people probably don’t go to a middle aged kebab shop owner for therapy, but over the course of my time in uni I’ve come to know him well. I rarely eat anything from the kebab shop, but having been dragged there by college mates on nights out, I’ve always ended up talking to the owner. He has the kind of smile that could cheer anyone up and he tells great stories, so I’ve made a habit of stopping to say hello every time I see him working. “Don’t be sad. It is his loss. He is a [...] There's more...

Are We Just Holding Onto Things That We Don’t Have Anymore?

I’ve been quiet for awhile, and not just in the world of blogging, so nothing personal. Though I promised to write about Mutt next, recent events have inspired other topics. Let’s go back approximately one week and three days ago. Aka, Saturday the 11th of October. 19:20 Cycling into town, on my mobile to Lad Boy LB: What UPPP? Me: I was just dumped. LB: What?! Aw, I’m sorry. What happened? 15:35 Grey’s room Grey: I don’t think I can do this anymore. Me: Okay. 19:21 Bike. Mobile. Lad Boy Me: I don’t know, I’m not surprised. Just. Fucking. Ugh! I was going to dump him! LB: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Stop acting like you don’t care. You’ll be fine though. Go find someone to shag and text me in the morning. Me: Doable. LB: No, but really, are you okay? Me: Yeah, totally. I’m fine. LB: Really? Because you’re doing that thing where your voice gets higher when you’re lying. ‘I’m fiiiine.’ Me: Really. I. Am. Fine. 23:40 Outside the gates of Grey’s college, drunk and walking my bike. I run into a mutual friend of Grey and mine. MF: Hey! How are you? Me: (Burst out crying here) He [...] There's more...

Insignificant Others

Remember how I said that in the most childish tit-for-tat retaliation with Grey I went and snogged some random in a club? Not such a random as it turns out. What was suppose to be a one-off lip lock has turned into a nightmare. This boy is so obnoxious that I had to Google ‘most annoying dog breeds’ when thinking of a name. Yorkshire Terrier will do, or Yorkie. So Yorkie and I have a few mutual friends it seems. After our kiss and run he proceeded to ask each and every mutual friend for my phone number, recounting the tale of the night to all of them as well. I generally avoid calls from numbers I don’t know (and yet always answer calls from ‘Unknown’ just because it would drive me crazy not knowing who it was), but I didn’t have to answer Yorkie’s calls to figure out who it was after three voicemails and about seven text messages in the span of one day. I finally replied with, ‘It was great to meet you, but I have a boyfriend so please stop texting and calling. Thanks x’ … I think my error was with the ‘x’ sign-off, as [...] There's more...

Freshers Week Survival Guide

Ah, October. When the fresh and brightest faces appear in Oxbridge. The excited last minute shopping sprees with the parents to put the last bits of furnishings around the room. The disappointment when you realise your room is a glorified cupboard, or the shock and awe of a palatial penthouse suite for the lucky few. Freshers Week is exciting for any Oxbridge student, new or old. It’s a time before responsibility hits and when we can hop on the Lashional Express and make some bad decisions. Having passed my share of Freshers Weeks with flying colours, I can outline a few guidelines, or warnings if you will. This is mainly aimed at the freshers, as most seasoned veterans have most likely made or seen these mistakes. But first, a disclaimer for the parents: My dear Mum and Dad picked up a university newspaper when they were first leaving me all on my lonesome to discover the wonders of the Oxbridge. To their shock and horror it made the university seem like nothing more than a drinking society with a studying problem. I assure you, your children are in competent hands. For the less competent freshers though: 1. Don’t be THAT [...] There's more...