You Say ‘Psycho Bitch’ Like It’s a Bad Thing …

I have plans today. That I should be leaving for about five minutes ago, but whilst showering I contemplated a comment that I have become a ‘psycho bitch.’ Trust me, this isn’t a new trait. I think it lies dormant in most people. For me it generally does not rear its ugly head often, and as I said it’s only about 5% of the time that it completely consumes my thoughts and then I go and type out some rant about what I’m feeling, and then I have done with it. The other 95% of the time I am a completely functioning member of society and a lovely and charismatic person to be around.

Such is one of the many glories of having an anonymous outlet through which to vent my frustrations. Otherwise I may unload all of this onto someone who could receive it any number of ways. I think general reception from my (mostly) male audience would be ‘Psycho Bitch’ so I’m glad I have an audience on which to test the validity or craziness of my thoughts.

Whereas I’m usually like this:

 

‘Hm, I wonder if he likes chocolate chip cookies or ginger nut cookies …’
Sometimes a nagging voice will be more like this:
‘Cheating son of a …!!’
Not really though. But I do struggle with some bipolar thoughts now and again. Not in the clinical sense. I think people need to stop taking me so literally. Do you really think I’m unaware that the second picture of Britney Spears I put up yesterday is photoshopped? I am not. She has never been obese, but it was an extreme example, as is the one above. I would never stoop to murder. At least not with a butcher’s knife. Too messy.
Nor do I sit at home baking all day. Realistically that ends up like this:
‘No, everything’s fine! Really! Just DON’T COME IN!’
I make Grey cook.
Okay now I am actually late for my very important business. I’m a very sought after person I’ll have you know.
I need a code symbol for when I’m being sarcastic. Maybe ” ¡ ” … or you could just start assuming that everything I write is in a sarcastic tone.
That is all. I need to go get mum to take me to the station.
Au revoir, lovers.

11 Responses to “You Say ‘Psycho Bitch’ Like It’s a Bad Thing …”

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  1. Ross says:

    >http://02d9656.netsoljsp.com/SarcMark/modules/user/commonfiles/loadhome.do

    SarcMark. All your problems are solved.

  2. Anonymous says:

    >Thanks for replying to me, but we are kind of off topic still? Must be 3000 words now and no sex? You are still sexually active? The only part of sex your interested in is "ex"! Are you really over him? No. Less of the emotion and more of the commotion please!

  3. Belle says:

    >I don't think not talking about sex is a bad thing. Funnily enough although it started out as 'Sex at Oxbridge' there are other things going on in her life that are interesting other than sex.
    Perhaps if you want to read about sex a bit more you should look elsewhere.

    Love whatcha doing. x

  4. the silent observer says:

    >haha..your post left a smile on my face. :)

  5. Anonymous says:

    >give the girl a break…. sex falls during the holidays, shes in love, i personally find facebook messaging and bbm texting boys to line up my shags for the upcoming term is the way to go during the holidays.

  6. Anonymous says:

    >Pfft, I like reading about the emotion stuff too. Pay no regard to that other anonymous commenter. I'm the real Anonymous.

    I was really looking forward to reading the theory of why boyfriends make one fat. This post was cute though. Some people in your target audience are stupid or grossly oblivious, that's all.

  7. John Le Carre says:

    >Hi
    All besties for your monogamous trip. your feelings ("neuroses?") are understandable which happen to every body. For all we know, they could be a good sign. May be you have found a long term partner in this guy (that is why you are getting possessive) you have chosen to call "Grey" ( I would have preferred a more definitive nomenclature though; "grey' can be ominously deceptive.)Hmmm … stay clear of heart breaks though ( a very potential pitfall when you have chosen to go mono… which usually means ..you have started emotionally investing in the relationship). Unfortunately we live in times where girls have gone a little easy on the "virtue" thing. This has given the game on a platter to the other gender.( I am male, certainly not a saint..). Suddenly responsible romance is out and "girl-hopping" has become the in thing leading to short marriages, high divorce rates and a whole generation that has come up in single-parent (usually mother)households. Well.. I guess its time for some reality check ..unless we are waitng for the barbarians to be at the gates.

  8. Kate says:

    >Wow Oxbridge! You've been posting almost everyday lately. :)

    Keep 'em coming!

    xoxo Kate

  9. ambrosiamemoir says:

    >Loved this article! I can SO totally relate to being dubbed 'a psycho bitch'.

    I'm going through this phase right now…and like you have bipolar thoughts too and it's so good to know that someone out there feels the same way that I do! So thank you so much, I can now stop questioning myself lol

    As for anonymous above…just because she loves sex doesn't mean she has to be totally consumed by it and write about it all the time – let the girl have her say on what she feels when she feels like it! This might actually help a few us not feel so 'psychotic' at times! x

  10. Shanice says:

    >I agree with Belle. I actually find these posts more interesting than the ones about sex.

    I'm liking the inclusions of images in your blogs now SAO. :-)

    xx

  11. Phoebe says:

    >Firstly, I am loving all these pictures you’re putting in. I love the old fifties cards with phrases on, they make me laugh :D
    At first I was like I don’t understand this post and then looked back at your previous messages and saw the comment left and understood. I think every girl has some psycho bitch qualities as well as being a bit bipolar. I am one of them too :P
    You’ve got Grey well trained, I cannot cook meals to save my life, but I can bake, that’s my only redeeming quality I have in the kitchen :D
    If people cannot understand your sarcasm, they are pretty slow, it’s pretty obvious tbh, but oh well, their loss for being gulliable!!
    Off to read your next post!! Sorry again for my slowness
    Love Phoebe x

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