“How are you feeling my darling?”  “I’m okay. Still kind of sad.”  “I thought about this after you told me the other day, and there is something wrong in that boy’s head. It is his loss.” The owner of my local kebab shop finalised his statement by placing his hands around his wide waist and… Continue reading

It’s not you, it’s me. And I have been ignoring everybody so don’t feel that I singled this audience out. Well I’ve been ignoring almost everybody.   I have some amazing stories that should be good summer reading. They include the usual suspects as well as New Boy who I’ll keep calling Grey for now,… Continue reading

I’m sitting in the bar of a restaurant being antisocial with my laptop and pint, mostly because the bar is full of businessmen and business school students, so I want to exude the ‘don’t approach me’ vibe as much as possible.    In light of recent events a date with myself is what’s needed I… Continue reading

2023 Prologue: Some things never change… Except did I fuck pay £4 for this paper. I’m now a cardholding member of Waitrose and get it for free. And I have a car. Other than that it’s basically “new year same hoe.” So onto a story about me reading this paper in uni… ~ As I… Continue reading

The problem with pseudo-celebrities is that they believe that they are entitled to have sex with you because of who they think they are. Ladies and gentlemen, do not be fooled. These are normal people like you and me. Have you ever met an Old Blue? They are draping with self-importance, unaware that literally no… Continue reading

I don’t like to sleep with the men I date. Rather, I like to engage in date-like situations with friend and then go off to sleep with a fuck buddy. It’s much less complicated than a relationship and it keeps things simple. I had an ideal night about two weeks ago:    18:30 Cycling home… Continue reading