If I seem crazy to you at any point, it’s probably because I am. Not clinically. But if I were to self-diagnose I would go ahead and say that there is a whole lot of truth to my nicknames. ‘Mentalist’ is probably the most accurate. Or maybe ‘Crazy Bitch.’ Anyway, I blame my fluctuating and spiralling mood swings on what has to be a chemical imbalance.
To demonstrate, I will give you a visual representation of what happened to me emotionally last night:
“Yay! I don’t have to do anything today. I can just dance around my room in my pants if I want to.”
…
Then, after some deep concentration:
!
Telly! Lots of telly!
Then there was something sad on telly about a girl and a boy who breakup. I had previously felt that I related to this character and then she had to go and break her poor boyfriend’s heart all over Channel 4.
I had a minor breakdown.
Decided that love is worthless and that I should go back to being single.
Then life was pretty much exactly like the beginning scene from Bridget Jones’ Diary where she drinks wine and sings “All By Myself.”
Then I fell asleep out of exhaustion from my mental rollercoaster of a day.
I woke up this morning thinking, “WHAT have I done?”
Luckily I did absolutely nothing except write a whingey blog post about it all. And now this subsequent blog post. I also missed numerous calls and texts from Grey as he was unaware that we were temporarily broken up.
Oh and I may have agreed to spend the day with an ex today. Not THE Ex. But THE Boy from the very first blog. Why would I agree to hang out with someone who dumped me after sleeping with me? Another mystery. He caught me on MSN chat at a very vulnerable time. I didn’t buy the train ticket or anything so there’s still time to stop this. I think maybe I’ll just go see Grey instead since I’m pretty sure The Boy is under the impression that if we hang out we will sleep together.
I hope this has given you perspective on the kind of crazy myself and those around me deal with on a daily basis. Quite funnnnn.
Have a lovely day. Ta ta darlings x x
A foretelling of what will happen when I see Grey today.
2023 Update/Edit:
Good to see I have always been in full blown delulu mode because that last photo was never, ever, what it was like when I saw Grey.
Also it turns out I do have a chemical imbalance but that’s not necessarily why I’m so chaotic. I think that just comes with my flare for drama. At least I have adult money and private insurance to deal with all this now, hence not just going on the internet to share all my problems. Lol jk I still do that, just on Twitter instead of here. I refuse to call Twitter “X” no matter how many rebrands it goes through.
I’m not sure I told the truth about what happened with my ex-boyfriend who did come to see me but that’ll just have to be part of the next edit/update.
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