Aka, I know how to clear internet history. Clearing it from the second your parentals walk into the room and to the computer is another story.
I love the ‘rents, but living with them can be a major hassle. Going back to school will be a welcomed freedom from a life of ‘Where are you going?’ ‘When will you be home?’ Not cool.
Also it means being back with Grey full-time. Not sure how I feel about this. I’ve rarely had to breakup with people, but in this case I may be willing to make an exception. I’m not sure that things are working and I’d almost rather be single than be constantly worrying about ‘the other half’ – you know?
Well time to get one with my day, hope everyone is well. Talk to you soon lovers xx
Right. So. Last time: established I had left out the very minor detail about sleeping with my ex-boyfriend, who dumped me right after I had sex with him for the first time, which was also the first time I had sex with anyone.
Here’s how it went down…
This guy, let’s call him…fuck I can’t think of any names that aren’t actual names of exes. We’ll stick with “this guy”/”this ex”. So this guy calls me out of the blue and asks if he can come visit me and “talk” or “catch up” or something that definitely sounded like a euphemism, which is why it was to my great surprise that he indeed wanted to not only talk, but to apologise.
When something shitty like the guy you lost your virginity to dumping you straight afterwards happens, you always fantasise about them coming crawling back and begging for forgiveness. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine I’d even have to see this ex ever again, save for awkwardly bumping into each other at the Henley regatta every year, let alone have him actively seek me out to talk. But he did and we sat at a picnic table outside of a pub right on the river as he told me how sorry he was.
“…For what?” If he was going to apologise I was going to make him spell it out.
Not good enough.
“What do you mean by everything?”
“For breaking up with you after we slept together. That was really shitty of me.”
Good enough. And maybe because I was still mad about Grey, the one boyfriend I thought would never cheat on me, cheating on me with the human equivalent of a troll doll, I looked at this Abercrombie and Fitch model of a man and thought, I forgive you. Which subsequently translated into, I will sleep with you again. And again a couple years later. And then again a few times after that.
I awkwardly bumped into him at Henley regatta this year, as always, and while we didn’t sleep together, we did come to the realisation that he lives ten minutes from me and made empty promises to grab coffee sometime. Then, about a month later, I was asked to do some freelance work at none other than the company he works with, so when I tell you I cannot escape this man I really mean that with my entire being. Which is why it’s nice that he apologised all those years ago and that I let go of any resentments I was still harbouring because now I can simply look at him and think, “Yeah not bad for my first time,” since he is still quite incredibly hot.